Thursday 21 July 2022

REVIEW - SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS: WHAT WORKING WITH THE DEAD TAUGHT ME ABOUT THE LIFE BY KATE MARSHALL WITH LINDA WATSON-BROWN

  

Title: Sorry For Your Loss
Author: Kate Marshall, Linda Watson-Brown
Publisher: Ad Lib Publishing, Mardle Books
Genre: Non Fiction, Biographies & Memoir
Release Date: 21st July 2022

BLURB from Goodreads
Following Kate Marshall’s first year in the mortuary at a north of England NHS hospital, with each month exploring the people she meets, in life and death, as well as her own growing awareness of life behind the veil.

– Meet Mr X: Found in his apartment months after his death, Mr X has no relatives that can be traced. He is the longest-serving resident of the mortuary, having been there for almost a year while the search for his elusive family continues. The staff talk to him like an old friend, but Mr X is disintegrating and a decision has to be made soon.

- Meet Mary: Her baby girl has been lost in the 15th week of pregnancy, Mary’s last chance to have a child. Mary won’t allow Abigail to leave the mortuary until she has finished reading a book to her. She visits twice each day, sitting with her baby, reading to her, speaking to no one, until she finally opens up to Kate.

- Meet Joe: A loving husband and father who has died suddenly of a heart attack. Joe is visited by his wife, his children – and his mistress. On the day that all his worlds collide, Kate witnesses how death can finally reveal the truth of years of lies.

Sorry for Your Loss is haunting, uplifting and informative, with many moments of laughter, and shows us that the way we approach death can make life all the more precious.
 

Goodreads Link

PURCHASE LINKS
Amazon US
Amazon UK

REVIEW
I think it was the sub title of the book or byline of the book “What working with the dead taught me about life” is what really caught my attention and made me want to learn more about the book.

Kate tells quite a few different stories of those whose bodies she dealt with and their relatives. As well as the differences, be it the age of the person who died, or the circumstances of how that person died and the effect it had on those mourning them, and the different way people mourn too.

The book really is an emotional read and I identified with some of the different families, through the different loved ones they lost and how they each decided how to handle that loss and the family customs, traditions and rituals they chose to do.

One story Kate tells is “Keith” a man who had lots and lots of tattoos of all the people he loved in his life. It made me both smile and tear up, when Kate revealed that Keith’s son had decided a tattoo of his dad on his arm would be a special thing to do and he proudly shows it to Kate. He has chosen to carry on the tradition his father’s tattoo, through beginning to have tattoos himself and the very first one being one of his Dad, to honour his memory.
I teared up at the losses of babies and the stories Kate told about them.

Kate explains in the book how she and the team she works with handle some of the things we don’t see when we visit our loved ones after they have died. There is no awful gory detail, Kate is very sensitive, matter of fact and I think truthful about what happens behind the scenes.

There were even points in the book when I laughed out loud, the strange things people want that belonged to their loved one. Who on earth would want their dead relatives false teeth, what on earth are they going to do with them. Kate then shares that there will be items like perhaps a handkerchief that still has the perfume/aftershave of the dead person still on it and she has asked relatives if they would like to take it away with them and they have just waved the offer away saying to just throw it away! Then she mentions what I would describe as the one-up-manship behaviour, who loved the person the most etc etc. Death really does seem to bring out the worst in some people! Some of the questions that Kate have been asked

My immediate thoughts upon finishing the book really sum up what I thought to the book. It really honestly was a quite fascinating, original look and description of Kate’s everyday work in a hospital mortuary. It mentions the horror, heartache, and heart-warming moments within Kates jobs. The book also includes how covid created even more heartbreak when loved ones were not allowed to say their final farewells to loved ones either before they died or afterwards in a chapel of rest. All the restrictions and new rules for handling the bodies of those who had covid meant much more extra work as well as more chaos for those working in the mortuary. 


 

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