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Title: Hope For Suicide
Author: Wendy Parmley
Publisher: Cedar Fort
Release Date: 10th August 2014
BLURB from Goodreads
We all have a story—hidden secrets buried in dark and rocky earth. Our task is to unearth—to release the pain and discover the good, discover the healing, discover the love. Uncovering the darkness makes space for the light.
After her mother took her own life, Wendy Parmley learned firsthand the heartache, despair, and loneliness that accompanies losing a loved one to suicide. At one point she even contemplated taking her own life as well. In this uplifting true narrative, you too can discover how to
Forgive yourself and others
Open your heart
Seek help when you need it
Draw closer to the divine
Embrace the light and learn how to heal your soul and overcome loss as you read this touching and tender account of a woman opening her heart years after her mother’s suicide.
After her mother took her own life, Wendy Parmley learned firsthand the heartache, despair, and loneliness that accompanies losing a loved one to suicide. At one point she even contemplated taking her own life as well. In this uplifting true narrative, you too can discover how to
Forgive yourself and others
Open your heart
Seek help when you need it
Draw closer to the divine
Embrace the light and learn how to heal your soul and overcome loss as you read this touching and tender account of a woman opening her heart years after her mother’s suicide.
PURCHASE LINKS
GUEST POST
April 16, 1975, “I woke with a start to
my dad’s frantic cries. Unaware of anything or anyone else, I bolted up the
three flights of stairs from my basement bedroom to the top floor of our split-level
home. There I found my dad with terror in his eyes, pacing back and forth,
trapped in the too-small hallway. His hair disheveled and his muscles taut, Dad
was unrecognizable as he screamed and cried, erratically running from room to
room, ready to pounce on an unseen attacker.”
So begins my book, Hope after
Suicide: One Woman’s Journey from Darkness to Light, which
details my healing journey following the suicide death of my mom. The day
before the book’s release, news of Robin Williams’ suicide death propelled me
back nearly four decades to that day I learned Mom had died. I was twelve years
old at the time. She was just thirty-one. And my heart was shattered.
Since Williams’ death, more than 20,000
people have ended their lives. Every 12.8 minutes, another person dies by
suicide, making it the tenth leading cause of death. 90 percent of those who
die by suicide have a treatable mental illness (afsp.org),
and those left behind often suffer for many years with symptoms of PTSD,
depression, and other mental health disorders.
Yet, I know there is HOPE—hope to save
the next life, and hope to heal a broken heart.
Saving Lives
On their website, the American
Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP)
lists warning signs we should all know: talking about killing themselves,
feeling hopeless, acting recklessly, sleeping too much or too little, having
intense anxiety or panic attacks,
becoming socially isolated and withdrawn, acting irritable or agitated,
or showing rage.
AFSP reminds us to take every threat
seriously. Fifty to seventy-five percent of all people who attempt suicide tell
someone about their intention. Some of us are afraid to talk about suicide,
though, for fear of pushing a friend over the edge, and hastening their death.
Research shows, however, that talking about suicide actually reduces the risk
of suicide. It is OK to ask, “Are you thinking about ending your life?”
Suicidality is a mental health emergency
and we should seek immediate help at a psychiatric clinic or the emergency
room. We can also call The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at
1-800-273-TALK (8255).
Healing Hearts
As a twelve year old in 1975, I didn’t
have access to mental health care to help me process the trauma of my mother’s
suicide death. Instead, I buried all the hurt and pain and heartbreak with
“rocks and dirt”—and anger. I wore a mask and covered up my sorrow with work
and a smile. And I kept the secret.
It wasn’t until years later that I sought
some therapy. A diagnosis of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) was the last
thing I wanted. But naming what I was experiencing allowed the clinician to
create a treatment plan. He utilized a technique called Eye Movement
Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) to help bring the painful and traumatic
memories to the surface where I could then process them in a healthy way. I was
finally able to find meaning in the loss. I was able to walk from darkness to
light, and through God’s grace, my heart was healed.
Sharing Stories
As tragic as Williams’ death was, it gave
us an opportunity to talk openly about mental illness, learn about ways to get
help, and realize that suicide is no respecter of persons. For those of us
living in the aftermath of unimaginable loss, let us continue to share our
stories. As we unashamedly share, we give courage to others to share—and to
begin their own healing journeys.
“We all have a story—hidden secrets
buried in dark and rocky earth. Our journey is to unearth the pain and discover
the good, discover the healing, and discover the love—to uncover the darkness
and make space for the light.” (Parmley, pg. 189).
Hope after Suicide has been endorsed by Hope4Utah’s executive director, Dr. Gregory Hudnall. It has also been listed on AFSP’s list of resources and received a positive review from the American Association of Suicidology. Parmley was invited to represent her work as a panelist at the 2015 Virginia Festival of the Book.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Wendy Parmley, RN, MBA suffered a disabling bicycle accident in September 2011. Unable to
return to her 20 year nursing career because of the continued effects of a
traumatic brain injury, Wendy began the slow and painful penning of her angel
mother’s story and Wendy’s healing journey following her mom’s suicide
death. Twelve-year-old Wendy’s mom took her life when just 31 years old,
leaving behind her husband of thirteen years and their five young children.
Author of Hope after Suicide: One Woman’s Journey from Darkness to Light, and
suicide survivor of 40 years, Wendy has long advocated for suicide prevention.
She participates on various professional and community based groups dedicated
to that end, including Hope4Utah and the American Foundation for Suicide
Prevention (AFSP).
Wendy also recognizes the need to
unashamedly support those who must continue to live in the painful aftermath of
a loved one’s suicide and passionately lends her voice to that cause. Wendy was
a favorite speaker at the recent Salt Lake City National Alliance on Mental
Illness (NAMI) annual conference and at the Chainbreaker Foundation. Wendy’s
heart-felt story leaves the audience filled with an abundance of love,
understanding, and hope as she shares her own journey from heartbreak to hope
and, finally, to healing.
Prior to her bike accident, Wendy worked
in nursing leadership for 14 years, earning her nursing degree from Utah Valley
University in 1991. Wendy graduated with her MBA from Brigham Young University
in 2007 and was honored to be the convocation speaker. Wendy has three sons and
daughters-in-law, one daughter, and two beautiful grandchildren who fill her
life with sunshine. She and her husband Mark live in Orem, Utah.
Hope after Suicide is sold at Amazon and Barnes and Noble.
Like Wendy on Facebook.
Follow Wendy on Twitter and on her blog at www.wendyparmley.com.
I also learned today that Hope After Suicide by Wendy Parmley has been named finalist for INDIEFAB Book of the Year.
I also learned today that Hope After Suicide by Wendy Parmley has been named finalist for INDIEFAB Book of the Year.
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