Title: Always On My Mind
Author: Carys Green
Publisher: Random House UK, Vintage, Harvill Secker
Genre: General Fiction, Mystery, Thrillers
Release Date: 27th February 2025
BLURB
YOU CAN HEAR HIS EVERY THOUGHT... BUT HE CAN HEAR YOURS TOO.
Never again wonder where they are
Never again doubt their feelings for you
Know your partner intimately
OneMind: for the ultimate closeness
When Elijah suggests going to OneMind to celebrate their ten-year anniversary, Anna is dubious about getting the implant that will allow them to hear each other’s thoughts. However, eager to please him, and to make up for the fact she can’t give him what he really wants, she agrees to take this step towards the ultimate intimacy.
And at first things are great. Anna feels closer to her husband, and the novelty of communicating mind to mind is a thrill. But then she develops a strange side effect and begins having dreams that aren’t dreams, but memories. Memories that aren’t hers. And if Anna is now seeing Elijah’s memories, what if he can see hers? Will he discover what she's kept buried in her past?
Desperate to keep the truth from her husband, Anna's mind becomes a prison she can't escape. How long can she keep the traitorous thoughts at bay before she drives herself mad?
REVIEW
I love the shades of pink and blue on this book cover. The pink side having a steamed up mirror with a heart drawn on it perhaps suggesting that Anna wishes to keep her thoughts to herself and the blue side clear and showing Elija’s reflection representing the fact he wants everything out in the open and to share every thought.
The main characters are a group of friends who met at University, Oscar, Elijah, Gavin, Anna and Helen they enjoyed parties and wild nights together ending up with Anna & Elijah becoming a couple and later getting married and a similar thing happening with Gavin & Helen. They share a past, a past with devastating, dark secrets that would perhaps be better left uncovered. Elijah and Gavin have a highly competitive relationship both at work and in their home lives, always wanting to have the latest gadget or accomplishment before the other. Elijah is obsessed with technology and the house he and Anna live in has every gadget and technology app possible, so it shouldn’t come as a great surprise when Elijah hears about the OneMind project by Unity he wants both himself and Anna to participate. OneMind literally means two people can share one mind, by having a chip inserted behind their left ear close the cerebellum they can literally hear each other’s thoughts 24/7.
It's Elijah and Anna’s tenth wedding anniversary and Elijah has stated he has a surprise for her. Anna is hoping it’s a week away somewhere exotic with a beach so they can be alone and spend some quality time together. However, the big surprise is that Elijah has signed them both up to have the OneMind chip fitted by Unity the very next week without even asking Anna. Anna has her doubts does she really want Elijah to have access to her thoughts 24/7, she doesn’t really see the attraction. Elijah already keeps tabs on her via her mobile phone and the camera’s in the house whilst he is at work. Elijah has a well paid job and his parents have money meaning he can afford to splash out whenever he wishes. This financial stability means that Anna can stay home and be the artist she wants to be in the studio Elijah had built for her in the garden. Sadly for Anna her art work isn’t doing quite as well as she wishes it to. Anna has also suffered multiple miscarriages due to complications from an abortion in their University years. The abortion left scar tissue which is resulting in recurring miscarriages. Elijah wants his own children and he isn’t used to not getting what he wants so they continue trying with Anna hiding the fact a Doctor has told her the probabilities of a successful pregnancy are slim. Anna feels guilt about the abortion, it is her body that is now broken. Elijah insists they made the decision together, they made the right decision at the time and that he believes one day they will have children. Anns also feels guilt as she has a secret. There are details about the abortion that Elijah doesn’t know and must never find out about.
I think its all this guilt and the way Elijah is persistent, used to getting his own way and quite controlling of Anna that she agrees to go ahead with the OneMind chip implant. However, Anna has a bad reaction straight away, she is violently sick, has continual headaches as well as the site of the insertion of the chip not healing properly. Elijah insists all these side effects will wear off as he isn’t experiencing any.
One night Anna has a dream where she is looking through Elijahs eyes, she is seeing the night that their friend Oscar died on a “boys holiday abroad” that Oscar, Elijah and Gavin went on. The dream and what she sees doesn’t line up with how Elijah & Gavin said they happened. Anna really struggles with hearing Elijah in her head all the time and discovers he has a violent temper which begins to scare her. What if she thinks about the abortion secret and he finds out, or if Elijah experiences one of her dreams about that time. Elijah is increasingly exhibiting controlling, abusive, gas lighting, and toxic behaviour towards Anna. He demands to know her whereabouts at any given moment of the day, whether that’s via tracking her phone or constantly checking in with her via OneMind. When Elijah speaks to Anna he expects her to reply immediately and if she doesn’t he wants to know the reason why. Anna develops a way of coping, of withholding her thoughts by singing and saying nursery rhymes which quickly annoys Elijah. Secrets end up being revealed and Elijah slowly simmer and its almost like he is trying to drive Anna crazy, turning gadgets on and off in the house, locking her out when she forgets to take her phone with her. I suppose Elijah is punishing Anna for what he has discovered and he seems to be enjoying it jumping into her thoughts whenever he feels like it. Yet when she calls out to him, he is sometime absent making Anna suspicious that his chip is different to hers.
I did guess the secret Anna was wanting to hide, I just got the wrong person who was involved in it with her. I also guessed that perhaps that was the reason her friendship with Helen had gone colder too.
I felt sorry for Anna, literally trapped in her own home, feeling guilty about something that happened years ago. She really didn’t seem to see that even before the OneMind chip Elijah was a possessive, ruthless, controlling person. Eventually after realsing the dream she keeps having is the true version of the “boys holiday abroad” events and what really happened to Oscar that night she is horrified and she does realise Elijah is dangerous. Even after seeing that night there is still a small part of Anna that wanted to give Elijah the benefit of the doubt, she seemed incapable of believing what an evil man she was married to. Anna had to end up being quite conniving herself to remove herself from Elijah’s clutches. In fact, the ending is quite ironic that Anna becomes pregnant but Elijah is not able to enjoy the experience with her.
What Elijah pitched to Anna as a way for them to be even closer was a lie, it turned out Elijah wanted OneMind for much more sinister reasons. It brought the dangerously close with disastrous consequence no one could have forseen.
I immediately took a disliking to Elijah, having escaped an abusive marriage I could see the signs of it in him quite early in the book. On the surface Elijah has it all, and he has it all his own way too. If there’s a situation, he can’t handle alone his parents are there to help him. Elijah seemed a quieter character in the university days but even then, he was selfish and controlling and wasn’t above emotionally blackmailing people to get what he wanted.
Gavin on the other hand has had to work for what he has achieved and work hard at his job, though even he seems to be under the influence of Elijah. Its only revealed later in the book exactly what the hold Elijah has over Gavin is.
I also liked the characters that were either there for Anna all the time like Mandie, or Helen that eventually reached out when she felt her friend was in danger though didn’t really forgive her. I was initially irritated by Murray, the obstacles he put in Anna’s way on behalf of Unity when it came to getting her OneMind chip sorted out. Murray must have known about the extra functions that Elijah had on his chip in comparison to Anna’s but didn’t readily reveal this when asked. However, he did eventually take pity on Anna and discreetly help her near the end of the book.
I found the hospital scenes hilarious, how frustrated Elijah was hearing the conversations of the nurses and not being able to speak to them himself. Though he hadn’t changed and was still very derogatory about those nurses helping him and towards Anna despite her visiting him every day.
My immediate thoughts upon fishing the book were wow, what a twisted tale……and what an awful man!
Summing up, I didn’t want to put the book down, I wanted to know if the dream Anna was having was the truth of what had happened to Oscar and then I was scared for Anna. This book kept me awake reading late into the night unable to put it down without discovering the end.
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